LITTLE ROCK, Ark — Courtney and Jeremy Swilley are the proud parents of 9-year-old Joseph, 6-year old-Ada and 4-year-old Amelia. They adopted the young trio siblings during the beginning of the pandemic and it’s only been finalized since April of this year.
Their journey began right before, having gone through two years of infertility.
They were set on opening their home in March when the pandemic started.
“We were kind of confused. It kind of felt like we had to step back, but were still able to open our home super quick considering. We opened right at the end of July, and then God started moving. We got matched with our babies in August,” said Courtney Swilley.
In January of 2020, they decided to adopt. They found their children through Project Zero’s Heart Gallery.
Christie Erwin is the executive director of the organization. Through their Everyday Counts Campaign, they're aiming to find forever homes for 349 kids whose parents had their parental rights terminated by November which is National Adoption Month.
The organization is collaborating with the Division of Children and Family Services.
The number of kids in foster care has only gone up during the pandemic.
"We begin to think outside the box even further because we couldn't host in-person connection events for kids and families and so we started in partnership Zooming for Zero," said Erwin.
The Swilley's zoomed with their children through the partnership.
They were there with the children every step of the way during the pandemic.
Courtney Swilley said it was crazy, quick, and terrifying. Even as a teacher that loves kids, she’s honest about initially being hesitant.
“I guess that’s the selfish part of me. I didn’t think that it would be possible for me to mother that way, because they have a history that we have to work through and I was just really scared of that history. Also not knowing if they’ll accept our family,” said Courtney Swilley.
Jeremy Swilley said that there were past traumas and understood the responsibilities of working through that with their children. Adopting means knowing that there are things you’re going to have to struggle through that no matter how you prepare, you may not be as equipped to handle.
“It was no doubt scary. You get a special packet that speaks about what they’ve been gone through. I always wanted to adopt. I didn’t know three was going to be our first. It’s been an amazing journey. I don’t know a good way to put it, it just felt like it was meant to be,” said Jeremy Swilley.
They describe their only son as a pleaser. He always wants to do well. He has ADHD so his energy is “spirited.” He’s an amazing kid that strives to do well at home and in school. He’s very loving and protective of his new mother.
They describe their oldest daughter as the natural leader. She’s hilarious and spunky and it’s when she’s not trying to be funny is when they’re laughing the most. No matter where they go she finds friends.
Their baby girl is also spunky. She’s their entertainer. She’s a mix of both Ada and Joseph. She’s very sweet but sassy. She loves to dance and is always in the mood wherever they go. The last weekend they were at a Razorback game and she was in her own little world on the bleachers dancing away.
“You thought you knew what it was or I thought I knew what it was until it happened. It’s an amazing feeling. It’s such a responsibility. It’s such an amazing gift that you have to be able to give to be a mother and a father,” said Jeremy Swilley.
“With everything in me, I want to give them the best to make sure that they never have any question of where they stand with us and their relationship with them. They deserve better. They deserve to have a life with people that are crazy about them,” said Courtney Swilley.
She said it’s a constant effort to reinforce that idea that beyond the past traumas or any emotional baggage that comes with adoption from both children and parents, they are now a family that loves and protects each other.
“Earlier just before our family requests before bedtime, I said ‘Let’s keep working on the things we need to work on,’ and Joseph looks at me and goes, ‘Mom, you don’t need to work on anything. You’re the best mom in the world,’ and just to have him think that highly of me when I clearly do need to is a lot of responsibility,” said Courtney Swilley.
They want parents who are thinking about adoption to be open. Sometimes the ideas of what you see your family isn’t at all what it ends up being.
To learn more about the process of adopting children in waiting visit www.theprojectzero.org or humanservices.arkansas.gov.